


Complicated Love

by sTuck_darr20



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 21,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6502318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sTuck_darr20/pseuds/sTuck_darr20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephanie saw something she shouldn't. Both herself and Bucky knows, and things are complicated. What can these two emotional conflicted friends do when everyone in the Avengers building aren't here? Will they stay friends? Or something more..?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still a newbie on the whole writing stories thing, but I'm a little better than how I was in the past. Sorry if it seems rushed or confusing. I'm still working on the skills.

Fists pounded hard against the giant old boxing bag. Marks and slight tears were getting bigger by the second. The fists came in harder and harder nonstop. One-by-one, at the same time; didn't matter; the fists kept going. It was no surprise that they weren't bruised or bleeding as the middle of the hand was covered by damp from sweat white tape, but the constant aching was; so bad that ice was needed. From the South Pole. The owner, however, didn't care.

If one was in the room with the fists' owner, one would see how much frustration was made through the hitting. How angry and annoyed the person face was as bullets of sweat peered down the skin with only rough and quick wipes over the eyes, the veins popping out of the muscles from the biceps, and the gritting teeth that can show quick appearances before the pink lips hid them again.

If one wanted to know what was wrong, there's a fearful idea of getting hit or snapped at—which, from this person, is quite rare to see unless it was serious business on a extreme problem.

If one knew what was wrong by witnessing or hearing it from another, it was understandable.

Stephanie Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, was mad. At herself. It was shown when a loud shout of anger came from the back of her thin throat before sending another punch at the bag. There, the bag was off the hook it was held, and flew to the wall, the sand inside poured out from the big hole the punch made.

The beautiful super soldier huffed and panted at the sight of the bag, anger and determination on her face as she stood where she was in silence. And then the expression was gone. Switching it to disappointment. She sighed sadly as she rolled her shoulders, getting used to the aching feeling, while her high ponytail was soon tugged at the end by her hand, playing with it a little.

"Beating up my emotions wouldn't solve anything," she murmured to herself as she grabbed her sports bag and headed out of the abandoned gym. What was wrong? Why was she like this? She shouldn't be caught up with something like that. It's not like she's able to control it! She was no God or goddess, nothing like Loki for sure, but... It still hurt.

It still bothered her as she went back at the events of this evening.

It was exactly two hours ago, and Stephanie was out for a evening walk to clear her head. About Bucky. It's been two years since she found Bucky, and was able to have him not only get his memory back -- at least most of it, like 9/10 -- but also have him off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s wanted list. It was tough on Nick and Tony, surprisingly, but they were able to let him go, much for her delight.

Today was a bachelor party for Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye. The big bird finally got his chance with the killer spider a few months ago, and she said yes—well, actually told him that 'he better have that damn ring', but she still imagined a small smile on the redhead's face.

Natasha's bachelorette party happened last week, so there was no problem for her. In fact, she was completely free for the day and just wanted to relax her mind about a certain metal-armed ex-assassin.

Bucky. Bucky Barnes. James Buchanan Barnes; the man she lost... Then got back, but broken, confused, and a killer. On the fight at the bridge, when she unmasked him by flipping him over that caused him to hit the ground and lose the mask from his face, her heart dropped. It was the same face that she lost, except his expression was dark along with his cold blank eyes. Her heart broke when she heard those cursed words.

"Who the hell's Bucky...?"

She was soon grateful to be alive, however. She knew her best friend was still in there; when he wasn't able to kill her when she spoke a statement he said to her in the past, when he dived in and saved her from death of drowning unconsciously, and when he came up to her doorstep... saying those words she never thought of hearing: "Stephanie... I remembered."

Havoc was caused on behalf of sides on protecting the guy and being a wanted assassin. It was hell, but it was worked out in the end. Soon after, Bucky got to the rest of the Avengers' good sides -- Sam, Natasha, Clint, and Wanda not included due to being on the blonde's side -- and it was months before Bucky got more comfortable and more open with them. It made Stephanie so happy and grateful that he was getting back to his old self, especially when he was becoming good friends with Tony now due to the liking of science.

Even though Bucky remembered, there was one thing he never actually knew in the past and now: Stephanie Rogers had, and still does, a crush on the Brooklyn man.

Stephanie fell for him after months of being his friend back at the times they were kids. Now, her love for him returned and got strong during the years. She wanted nothing more than to have him back from death, and now that she did... She was scared.

Sam, Natasha, Wanda, and Tony were the only ones that knew Stephanie fell in love with Bucky -- Tony realized that during the battle and gotten soft because of it. Made him think and feel about losing his Pepper -- and she always went up to them for advice.  
"Go for it. You'll never know if you never try," Sam said.  
"Suck up and say to his face. Any problems come after; I got you," Natasha said, smirking. It scared the soldier a little.  
"Don't give up on love. Give a chance to tell him how you really feel about him. I wish you luck!" Wanda said, encouraging.  
"Just tell him. The stress on keeping it in will go away if you tell him straight. I would say something else, but I knew you would think it was stupid. Be grateful I called Pepper, Rogers," Tony said, making her giggle at that. She thanked both him and Pepper, along with everyone else, for the advices, but she was still scared and froze before she had the chance to speak. Until tonight.

She headed up to the location where the party was held, wearing casual clothing so that no one would noticed her as Captain America. When she found the place, she sighed and shook her head. "Of course," she mumbled. "It had to be a strip club." The place, however, was pretty nice. With the maroon mirrors in front, it viewed a luscious and sexy sight. Luckily, no one noticed her—most likely, because all of the attention was giving to five women, touching each other and manipulating the strip poles under multicolored lights. It was no surprise that every customer here was a man.

Her sapphire irises roamed around the room until her eye caught something. A black man waving his arms up to the beat of the played songs, a blonde man having himself hugged behind by a performer, a tan man with a beard taking a shot while chuckling at the sight, and a man with dark curtained hair pointing his finger and throwing his head back in laughter at the sight of the blonde man's tomato face. Good thing she found the four in an area she could see. Too bad Bruce couldn't come, but Wanda and Vision were very kind on taking care of the ill man.

She smiled at the sight of the five; all happy, laughing, and having the time of their lives. Her eyes then went over to Bucky, who had a smile so wide that it's been so long since she saw it; back at the army, during that party, and she came to the party with a beautiful outfit and look on her face, making every sergeant breathless, but only Bucky smiled widely, being both impressed and amused.  
"This might not be a good time," she said to herself. She started to head home as she got away from the window... And then time caused her to pause and look back.

There, a gorgeous woman with dazzling blonde flowing hair and an outfit Stephanie believed was sinful to wear, even on a honeymoon. Her heels were as high as Natasha's IQ in spy work, her skin completely flawless and tan, her chest and butt was pushed quite nicely; not too big or small, just enough, and was dancing up in a way to have her compete with Beyonce while performing Partition.

A instant hate came upon the soldier; the same hate she had on HYDRA for taking away her Bucky. She wanted HYDRA dead, but now she wanted that tramp dead. It wasn't because of the outfit, and it wasn't because of her looks. It was because she was giving all her attention to no one, but her crush...


	2. Chapter 2

Her normal glowing and serious blue irises harden in darkness and anger. If there was anyone near her right now, they shouldn't unless they want to be froze to her touch. That little tramp. How dare she show her sexiness to her crush? Bucky was hers! All hers, no other girl's! Hers, hers, **HERS!**

It wasn't the first time that Stephanie felt like this. Back in Brooklyn, during the double dates Bucky made for them, Stephanie tried her best to be a properly (and containable to be with) date, but on the inside she was smashing rocks on Bucky's date. Sure, Bucky did do it to make her happy, but in her opinion he would never know how much it hurts to see Bucky with a perfect match of a girl.

His date had curves, a beautiful smile, strong teeth, actually above Bucky's shoulder slightly, and actually was a beauty; a true dame for sure. The tramp now was more sexy in curves, beauty, and dancing to draw more attention. Stephanie always felt she wasn't worry for Bucky. No matter how hard she tried to make him happy, she always felt that she was not 'perfect' enough to be officially his.

Stephanie was so caught up with her thoughts that she failed to noticed what else was happening inside. The tramp stripper was getting more cocky, as she walked towards Bucky, her hips swaying slowly, before she soon climbed over his lap and did a sexy lap dance.

The boys around the two were hooting and cheering at the action. The ex-assassin was even laying his hands on her hips. There was a strange look in his eyes, something that hasn't happened before. The boys didn't noticed, but his little stripper did. With a smirk on her face, and her eyes half-lidded, she soon traced her finger over his jaw, licking her lips at the same time he moaned softly. She scooted herself more, having her privacy on top of his directly.

"Oh, looks like someone's happy for me~" she said, seductively and surprisingly was enough for the guys to hear, oohing in knowing what would happen. Bucky didn't say a word. His grey eyes roamed over her body than to her face. The tramp placed a hand over his hair, messing it a little before bringing it back to rest on the seat. She soon got off his lap and soon on her knees, his chin close to her large almost covered breasts.

"Let's see what you want~" she said, before leaning down and pressed her red glossed lips against his, who immediately kissed back—

—at the same time, Stephanie looked back up and felt her heart crushed by the Hulk's hand.

It was there time froze. Her eyes were wide eyed as she looked at the man, her crush, kissed the stripper back deeply and passionately. She felt tears coming up on her face, and a choked sob came out from her throat before her hand immediately covered her mouth. How could he...? How could SHE...?! What... What's the point now? With a single tear shed, she immediately left the window and ran as fast as she could back to the Avengers tower, tears immediately streaming down her face as she sobbed in both of her hands.

She didn't see Sam, who saw her at the window, with a shock look on his face.

Which brought her back to the present. Stephanie was right in the past and she was right now. She wasn't good enough to be Bucky's. That tramp, or any other girl, even Natasha if she wasn't attached to Clint, would have a better chance than she. She headed back to her room, up the stairs and down the hall... Until she paused up to the room with a single name at the front: BUCKY'S.

She looked sternly at the door. Bucky had a life. She wasn't going to take control of it. It's his life, his choices, his freedom...! A single tear trailed down her face. He had the choice to date any dame he wanted... Stephanie wasn't the one for him.

She looked away from the door, and sighed at the floor before dragging her feet to her own door a few more down. She should be happy for him. He was able to get his life back on track and she shouldn't be the one to control it. She was a grown supersize woman. She was Captain America! The image of freedom! The image of truth! The image of all of America!

... The reason Bucky only cared for.

Her leadership and her duties made her warrior. Now that she thought about, maybe that's why Bucky didn't have a chance with her. Or maybe she didn't have a chance with him. He rather have a more carefree girl, than a girl more concerned for her country than her life...

She wasn't like other girls.

She was nothing Bucky would ever want...

Her thoughts made her unfamiliar with the boys that came back, but their words did.  
"Alright, Buckman! Got yourself a pretty girl, huh?" Stephanie felt her heart ached more at the drunken bachelor's words.  
"Dude, you better call her or you're missing a chance of a life time~!" How could Tony say that?! He must be drunk. He knows how she felt about him!  
More tears shed down as she heard Bucky's amused laugh. The same laugh he made when he got himself a true beauty of a dame.

It was official. She had no chance with him. He will never like her as a dame. Her hand fisted tight around the gym bag's handles until the knuckles were white. More tears and quiet sobs, covered by her other hand, came to the undefeatable solider. Just because she was strong doesn't mean she can't be broken. She failed to hear Sam's concerned call from below. He was the only one that wasn't fully drunk or tipsy. All she heard was the sound of her own door slam, hard enough for the hedges to break and have the door hit down on the floor, the home once again in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

The red-headed fiancé grumbly opened her door. Who dared to disturb her slumber when it wasn't even battle time? Or morning?! She looked around to see no one around. But something happened to be Steve's door on the ground a few feet from her. As well the sound of the obnoxiously loud drunks downstairs. Well, except one.

The redhead view a dark colored arm sticking out from the wall, having her either know that Sam wasn't part of the drunks, or was watching from the sides laughing as well. Now more curious in suspicion, Natasha climbed over and jumped off the rail, making a perfect landing from her three feet fall to her bare feet.

Her feet smacked on the tiled floor slightly, but surprisingly it was loud enough for the arm to go away and a surprised-then-relief face of Sam appeared. "Sorry if they waked you," he said.

"I've heard worse," she said in her usually calm voice. She crossed her arms at the sight of the drunken males in the large living room, having a good time over something she didn't care at the moment. "How was the party?"  
"Great. Had a good time."  
"...What happened?" She demanded, not requested.  
There was silence before a sigh of regret came out. "Stephanie... might have saw something she mistaken."

Natasha looked at him then to the boys and back to him. Her hand then tapped his bicep, having him look at her nudge her head, signaling to go to another room or at least away from the loud men.

Falcon and Black Widow ended up in the gym, where the only sound was their footsteps, their soft breathing, and the soft muffling noise of the drunk men. Sam just following Natasha until she stopped, having the two at the center. She then turned around, her arms crossed once more and glared at him. "Talk."

Sam tells her what happened at the club at the same time he saw Stephanie at the window, about to cry before running from the window. When he was done, Natasha's arms dropped and one hand landed on her forehead, aggravation as her emotion.  
"Oh God, why?" She mumbled and Sam agreed.  
"I doubt Bucky will actually call her. It was just a pathetic show kiss, anyway. I-I can't even imagine how she feels."  
"You can imagine how the fool will feel when I'm done with him." The venom in her voice scared him a little.

Even though she didn't show it, Natasha respected Stephanie as a little sister despite their ages. She was always there for Natasha and because of it, she was grateful about it. Internally; no way would see reveal it. The Avengers noticed though, but chose not to say anything. They knew how she was on 'touchy' subjects.

Sam soon shook it off, "No. You can't kill Bucky for what he did. The guy was drunk as Tony; he didn't know what he was doing or thinking. Besides, the hangover was going to do that in the morning." It was there they noticed the muffling was gone.  
Natasha sighed dramatically, "Fine. But if he hurts her, so help me, I will torture him much worse than HYDRA."  
Sam nodded before following her. 'How did Clint like her again?'

The two headed back to the living room, seeing the drunk boys knocked out on the couch. Except one. Bucky. His head was down and covered by his hands. His back was arched and had an atmosphere of despair and regret all over him.

Natasha glared darkly before walking slowly to him, making every step hesitate. "You weren't drunk, were you?" No answer or movement, other than breathing, was made. Sam left the room to held upstairs to fix Stephanie's door, leaving the Russian soldiers alone.

"Let me guess. You were tipsy and the blonde b**** just so happened to be attracted to you, and wanted to get your damn attention. You gave it to her... And she went further on it. She was such a knockout that you let her kept going, ignoring everyone else in the room.  
She was getting closer, walking over the laid out Tony.  
"The lights, the music, the sight; all that was happening was turning you on so bad. I bet she was such a pathetic babe, that she actually hypnotized you. And I'm not talking about some stupid watch, you're smarter than that, but was such a sucker that you kissed her the moment her lips touch.

She was right next to him, the glare still there. "You didn't care about anything around him or any thoughts that came in your head. You didn't give a s*** about what could happen. All you cared about was her. Her, her..., her. She growled at the last word before looking away. "You weren't even aware that Sam saw Stephanie. Who saw you making out with her. You didn't know that Sam called her out, even though she was outside and couldn't hear. You didn't realize what you have done has hurt her, Barnes! Why do you think that damn door slammed?! A model lost her chance in that dumbass Top Model crap? You can be so dense, Barnes. You are a high level solider, as well was a well-trained and prepared assassin before being yourself again. And yet you couldn't tell Stephanie fell for you. Hard like a rock. I can't believe you..."

His head shot up. And she froze. Her eyes were attached to the pain. The regret. The redness. The wetness. And the intense anger. She never saw that look before, not even when he was the former Winter Soldier. But there was something in there. Something that made her eyes squint slightly. Just before widening them.

She knew exactly what he felt.

"You... didn't know... until Sam called her out..." She said. "When you kissed her—"  
She stopped when Bucky got up and ran out of the room. She instantly brought a hand out, wanting him to stop, but froze in place. Her hand slowly dropped when she heard a second door slam. Oh, she was so wrong about the man.

On the outside, Bucky kissed a tramp. On the inside..., he kissed his best friend. And **loved** it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saw Civil War yesterday! Oh, it was soo amazing! So much feels throughout the film! Well done, Marvel. You never cease on failing for my attention ❤️❤️❤️❤️

What Natasha was true. Everything around him disappeared from his sight. He focused all his attention to the stripper dancing to him. He liked the idea of her, sitting on his lap and kissing him.  
But he wasn't even seeing her face. He was looking at Stephanie.

The moment the unnamed stripper starting dancing, he started smiling. The club slowly dissolved and turned into a private guest bedroom for one. The multicolored lights became white as the moon shine through the closed blinds and yellow as the old lamp on his side table. The men were gone, as well the other customers and strippers, and so was the woman. In her place was a beautiful Stephanie, holding onto the bathroom door; red in the face, and by the mirror reflection behind her was wearing one of Bucky's old large shirts that stopped a few inches of her knees.

No music. No strippers. No men. No interruptions. Just Bucky, sitting in the middle of his bed in his black boxer briefs, and a shy Stephanie.

Bucky tilted his head a little, touching the head of the bed while smiling at the blonde.  
"Don't be shy," he said, making Stephanie blush more. He was aware of how he was speaking to her; he loved her reactions. "When did that happened to Captain America?"

A small giggle came from his blonde before her blue irises looked up at him, happiness in them. He smiled at that. He was making her comfortable.  
"The Captain and I are very different women, Mr. Barnes," she said, sounding more of herself without the shyness.  
"Not true," Bucky disagreed, still smiling. "They are both willing to fight for their free country, as well has a big red heart filled with unbreakable kindness, courage, and confidence without caring if she was the cute skinny one, or the cute buff one. They are also the same being that has stolen and cared for this broken man's heart."

Stephanie smiled at him, releasing herself from the door and walked over to him.  
"That's because the broken man was a man who was strong too long, and just needed to let himself loose to be free. Free with happiness, and understanding. Not in tortures and threats," she said. She soon placed a knee on his bed, getting close to the man. Bucky smiled mostly at how sexy she was. It was one of his buttoned down light blue dress shirts, with the first three loose and gave a view of cleavage. Despite her shyness and courage as the Captain, she can be so sexy with or without even realizing it.

"So true," he then said, realizing he was silent and looked up back in her eyes. "But you also forgotten something."  
"What's that?" She asked, sounding innocent but her face clearly showed that she knew.  
"Love," he said. He bend forward to grab her arm and pulled gently towards him. She let him as she started crawling on the bed, the cleavage showed more of her breasts. Her braless breasts. They weren't as big when she was tiny and skinny, but he still loved her anyway.

It was then Bucky smiled more as he looked up at the girl that sat on his lap. Right under his boner. Even though she looked fine, the small blush made it obvious for both of them. Especially the small patch of wetness coming from her lingerie underwear.

Her smooth hands touched his shoulders while her knees were side by side with his thighs. "I never thought to be in this position before, even with you below me," she said, all shy again when she looked away and the blush grew.  
"I never thought I would see you look like this instead of your scrawny self," Bucky reminded before shrugging. "Life's so damn weird, ya know?"  
Stephanie giggled before turning back to him. Her luscious blonde hair curtained her face, making a beautiful sighting to hypnotize him.

Bucky never felt so lucky to have her like this. He never thought about her dressing up like this; he mostly just imagine romantic moments with her. At the beach together, playing around in the park, watching a movie side by side, (mostly) sharing their first kiss... He was the happiest man in the world to fall for a woman like her. He, however, felt like he wasn't worthy of her love. He was a mess. A killer. A cold-hearted demon wanted dead or tortured constantly. But the moment he looked into her eyes or see her smile, those negative thoughts went away. All that mattered was her. His Stephanie.

It was there that he came back to space when he felt her arms moving forward more, wrapping around him. As well her head was coming down while glancing back and forth at his eyes and his lips. She was questioning him; 'Can she...?'

Bucky glanced at her small pink lips and smirked a little. He kept his eyes to her lips before his eyes started to slowly hide under his eyelids while Stephanie was leaning down more. Bucky felt Heaven the moment their lips touched. He smiled in the kiss before tilting his head, his forehead touching her blonde hair, as he made it slightly deep.

It was Heaven right here and now. He always dreamt and imagined it without anyone noticing, and now he was getting it. His hands dragged up over his shirt, lifting a little to show her skin while Stephanie, being her brave self, leaned forward. Her entire arms wrapped around his neck, having the kiss more deep than before as their lips moved, and her privacy pressed further on his, making them blush; Stephanie more than before. This was perfect. This was amazing. This was a dream come true!

...And then a voice ruined it. "Stephanie!"

Bucky's eyes shot open the same time a pair of lips were removed. He blinked a few times, due to lighting, and stared at the face above him. It wasn't Stephanie, it was the stripper, who was smirking in satisfaction. She soon lifted her hand, and in between them was a card. She then placed it in the pocket of his jacket while her face was an inch from his.  
"Call me," she whispered, alcohol and perfume entered his nose before she got up and walked away like she was on a Victoria's Secrets catwalk. He didn't move for a second before blinking a few times when he felt an arm around him.  
"Nice going, man!" It was Tony, completely drunk. "Looks like you got a babe to ta-ame~"

Bucky playfully chucked at him, but he really wasn't listening. All he noticed was a shock Sam, paying attention to what was behind him. Bucky turned to see male customers and a large window. His heart ached when he thought back at the word Sam shouted. The said man confirmed it further when he slowly sat back down, and looked at the table with worry on his face.

Bucky saw it when he turned back and because of it, he groaned softly before placing his head back on the chair with his eyes closed and his face expressing regret.

He will never live this down. Bucky kissed the wrong girl, and the girl of his dreams saw him.  
Right now, in the Avengers building where he was face down on his actual bed, he wished that he did die from falling off the train.


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha knocked on the door softly, "Steph?"  
"Go away!" A muffled respond was made on the other side. Natasha sighed. She wasn't going to make this easy. She twisted the knob, but wasn't surprised to notice it was locked. Glaring at the knob, she rummaged through her pocket and took out a credit card. Did it before to get information on a mission; did it to Tony's door to get something he stole from her; works every time.

She smirked at the sound of a click and slowly entered the room. Each room in the house was like a luxery apartment room. Stephanie's, however, looked like it was from the past. "Home sweet home," she said. Passing the large living room, she went towards a pathway with a small slope and headed up the door three feet away. She knocked on it, "Steph? It's Natasha. You can't stay in there forever, you know?"

No answer.  
She sighed softly before checking the knob. This time, she was surprised that it was unlocked.

Natasha slowly opened the door—and immediately shivered in discomfort. The held up atmosphere of the room hit her hard, all filled with sadness and coldness. Was her room that cold? She didn't recalled Tony turning up the temperature. Or any one, in that matter. Speaking of the girl...

Natasha's head shot up at the sound of a sniffle, and felt bad for the girl once again. In the middle of her queen size bed, along with one side of the bed covered with snot-covered tissues (how many boxes does she have exactly?), was the broken-hearted super soldier. She looked like a mess as she still worn yesterday's clothes and a couple of sniffles came out, even though her face was covered by the pillow she was holding tight around her torso.

Natasha sighed before walking up to her, and went to the opposite side of the bed that wasn't covered. Stephanie's body was face to her, but before Natasha was able to do anything, "I told you to go away..."  
Natasha never thought she would hear the woman, who represented the freedom of their country, be so broken inside and out. All caused of a mistake she saw.  
The redhead then shrugged, "You know me, Captain. I don't listen to people's orders all the time."  
The blonde turned over, her back now faced to Natasha, as well curled up a bit further. The spy soon sat down, creaking the bed, before moving forward to place a hand on her shoulder. She felt a jump from the blonde.

"You also know that I'm not good at advice in this kind of thing, but the truth is my best," Natasha said. "For starters, you're an idiot."  
Steph looked over her shoulder, glaring at the redhead. Natasha didn't show her shock at how red and broken the girl was. She knew it was caused by heartbreak, but... Dang.  
"What the heck is that's suppose to be?" Steph snapped, or at least tried to since her voice was sore from crying so much.  
"I mean, you are broken over a guy that wasn't even aware of you being at the club and saw him make out with a stripper."  
"Don't start with that." Stephanie turned back and yanked her shoulder forward, out of Natasha's grasp. "I know it's his choice, but it still hurts."

"Yeah, I know." The redhead then brought her legs up, wrapping her arms around them while staring at her knees. Silence was made in the room... Until a voice broke it.  
"Why?" It was Stephanie. Natasha made no movement. "Why must I fall for him? I had no chance with him at the beginning anyway. I was pretty much a sister to him -sniff- and he was a brother to me. At least, for a while. I love him -sniff- now like I love him in the past. By why would that matter? I'm not his type...  
That girl from the club... She had a better chance on having Bucky. She was so beautiful. So sexy. So seducive. Something Bucky would love. He picked up plenty of dames in our past, and they had more figure and was breathtaking than skinny and easily sick Stephanie. At least they had a better chance to live a happy life until elder age, while I had the chance to die before I could even be thirty.

"Even the guys Bucky set up for me never lasted than an hour with me, grateful to be gone with the double date. And yet the super soldier experiment went well... But it never caught Bucky's eye."  
The blonde sat up, new tears shedding down her face as she stared down at the revealed body while her eyes were as cold as the WInter Soldier's. "In his eyes, I'm still that skinny and fragile Stephanie he had to be careful with. The best friend he loved more than fall in love with. I had no chance with him back then. I have no chance now."

Silence engulfed the room once more. Stephanie soon turned to the spy, who was still in the same position. "So, tell me Natasha... Why am I an idiot? Why am I an idiot when I'm not too scared to even talk to the guy, let alone be happy for him because I feel like I'm going to mess up and ruin his life by confessing out of the blue?"

Once again, silence... And then Natasha turned her head to the blonde.  
"Because, idiot, you didn't get enough facts. The witnessing of Bucky kissing a tramp was not good enough. But finding out that the guy was thinking of you while he was kissing her was a good detail to add. As well, the fact that the said man is currently shut in his room, not planning to say any word or any interaction within or out of this building. He's right now guilty to the bone much worse than you are when Sam saw you at the window, and Bucky came back from outer space. So, now you know why you are an idiot. For one thing, you shouldn't cry over a guy even if he didn't accept your feelings. The guy will still be by your side anyway because you are his best friend. And second, because you were there at the club, you just caused the guy to go through a much worse guilt than willingness on kissing that worker. And thirdly, without even getting a word out from the guy or from Sam, ain't it just interesting that the guy loves you back and, most likely from the Winder Soldier, was able to mask away everything he felt so nobody can bug him about it?"

Stephanie stared at the woman, jaw dropped and eyes widen. The tears were gone, and so was the pain of heartbreak. Right now, her heart was both aching from the guilt she caused on her best friend, but also pounding at the realization. Bucky loves her. Bucky thought of her when he was kissing her. He knew she was there. He felt horrible about hurting Stephanie. He... He... Stephanie just couldn't think anymore as she looked at the bed, turning away from her.

That didn't seemed to bother Natasha though, "Since you know, there's a plan that will be in progress tonight. Tony, if he's sober enough, will be making reservations for himself, me, Clint, and Sam at a hotel to leave you guys alone. That way you guys will have the building to yourselves, and gives you a chance to talk to the guy."  
That got Stephanie back to reality. "What? I-I-I can't do that! After everything you just said, you expected me to talk to him?"  
"Well, it's a fact that the guy isn't going to. Especially when he wasn't kissing the girl of the dreams, who happened to saw him kiss another girl!" Stephanie both winced at the tone of voice, as well blushed at the good point.  
"No one would be able to talk to him anyway. He trusts you more than us since you were kids. You have to be the one to talk to him. Make it right, Stephanie. Or else you're going to lose him for good."

Stephanie was silent with her thoughts. She was right. She would lose Bucky as a friend with all the awkwardness between them. She already lost him once when he fell off the train. And then lost him again when he became a human weapon for HYDRA. A third was unacceptable. The blonde soon wiped away her cheeks, despite the fact her tears were already dry on them, and sighed softly.  
She turned her head to Natasha, feeling more relax than she ever was all day. "Okay." Natasha smirked. "You're right. I need to talk to him. But, I'm not ready yet."  
"No problem. Talk to him tonight before dinner; that's when we're going to head to the hotel."  
"Are you sure Tony would be able to go in his condition?" Stephanie questioned, a bit worried.  
"Oh, he's going," Natasha said, getting off the bed. "Even if I have to knock him down and carry him a stupid pack of red potatoes."

Stephanie giggled at the joke. Even if she wasn't very expressional, there were moments when Natasha can be funny or sweet in her cool and cocky personality. Stephanie smiled before realization kicked in.  
"Wait!" Natasha froze and looked back at her, a bit annoyed to be stopped. 'Again?'  
"Why do I need to talk to him tonight? In fact, why does the plan had to be at night? And is it really necessary for you guys to a hotel when Bucky and I would just be talking?"  
Natasha was silent as she showed a mask on her face Stephanie wasn't able to read on her face; one of her best qualities for her job.  
"Shut up and do it." Natasha then exited the room, leaving a blinking and confused Stephanie. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's gonna do it, she's gonna talk to him. About this. Hope it doesn't end horribly...

Stephanie was sitting on the end of her bed, as darkness surrounded her room with the company of the moon's light coming through her closed transparent blinds. This was it; she had to talk to Bucky. Now than ever. Throughout the entire day, when Stephanie was back on her regular routine, she haven't seen Bucky once. Neither have the others. Clint and Sam once tried to get the said man out of the room, but failed after multiple times. Not even Natasha's (untrue) threats were enough to get him out.

Stephanie thought back on the plan Natasha told her. Right now, the engaged couple with Sam and Tony were currently heading towards the hotel Tony reserved for them to stay for only this night. Stephanie still didn't understand why it was neccessary to have it done today, as well be done at night. That thought didn't stay long as she went back to Bucky.

Bucky...  
James Buchanan Barnes...  
The ex-Winter Soldier...  
The only guy who was in the building with her right now...  
The only one who was so broken because of what happened at the club...  
The one Stephanie needed to fix things with.  
She took a breath and sighed, "I really hope this works," she mumbled before standing up straight and headed off to his room down the hall.

Stephanie stared up at the door, worriness was her aura as she bit her lower lip and her body shook slightly. What was she doing? She shouldn't be like this. She's Captain freakin' America! The one who fights for her country, as well showed an honor of goodness represented towards her fellow Americans.

How can she be so worried over a broken man...? Whom she found out actually had a crush on her...  
Her...  
Not Captain America, Stephanie herself.

Just the thought of it made her more guilty. She couldn't believe that Bucky wasn't even thinking of the stripper when he kissed her. He was thinking of Stephanie the entire time, and she wouldn't know that because of the idea that he was enjoying that kiss so much that he wanted to ask her out, then go on dates with her, have mulitple sex, possibly get married, have wonderful children, and completely leave Stephanie into the Sahara desert, in pain of constant rejection and friend zoning.

...A bit overdramatic in her case. She soon blinked and shook her head. 'What am I doing?' She thought. 'It's Bucky! He wouldn't hurt me! ...Not as much as I did to him...'  
She sighed again, and lifted her fist while looking at the door. Her heart pounded as she stared at it.  
It hit her chest at the same times her fist knocked on it three times. She then waited for respond... Nothing.  
A little calm, she did it again and then spoke. "B-Bucky?"  
No respond.  
"Bucky, it's S-Stephanie," she stuttered. 'Stop stuttering! Focus, girl!'

She gulped down her nervousness, and spoke more clear and straight out. "We need to talk. I haven't seen you all day. I miss you." Her words spoke with truth and slight sadness, but there was still no respond.  
"Bucky, please," she begged. "We really need to talk. I know that this is really awkward for the both of us..., but I really want to talk about it. I don't want to lose you..."  
Still no respond. The still beating appearance of silence was annoying her.  
"Bucky Barnes!" She demanded, "You open this door now!" She was sounding like her military self again. "Bucky!"  
She grabbed the knob and turned. She was caught off guard to notice it was open. Throughout the entire day, the door was completely locked...

She pushed the door open, and entered the room before shutting and locking it behind her. She was so familiar with the room that she knew exactly where Bucky's bedroom was. Passing by the small living room, she headed up to the closed door and knocked softly.  
"Bucky," she said, now calm again. "We need to talk."  
She waited for a respond. "Bucky...?"  
She pressed her ear against the door. It was muffled, but she recognized it well. Snoring. The guy was asleep the entire time she was talking. A little embarrassed as her face was slightly pink, she turned the knob and noticed this one was unlocked, too. Must have done it because it was so late, and none of the Avengers would still be awake to bother him.

She pushed the door open as well, and looked around the room. The room was still comfortable and clean as it was the last time she was in here 3 weeks ago. Well, other than the large pile of used tissues in the small garbage bin. The large window he had was uncovered, letting out a large light from the moon to enchant the room beautifutlly. It made the figure who was resting under the covers look more handsome as he rested on his back. The sight made Stephanie blush further before shaking away her incoming thoughts and went towards him.

Stephanie walked on the carpeted floor and headed to the side of the bed where the moon shined over the most. Avoiding the pile of used tissues, she sat carefully on the bed and looked over him. Despite being so peaceful in his sleep, Stephanie can tell he was having it hard due to his face. It was slightly red and pasty due to the salt water tears he must have shed. It made Stephanie feel worse; he was more broken than she was before. She brought a hand up, and placed it over his cheek, feeling the warmth as well a soft nudge as his head got closer.  
It was there he groaned softly, and blue grey eyes were revealed over slowly blinking eyes before squinting them and looked over to her.  
"Steph?"


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky blinked a few times before his eyes cleared up, though not as good as the lighting in front of him. And the fair blonde beauty sitting on his bed. Bucky widen his eyes, moving away from her while she jumped in surprise a little. She didn't expect that.

"What are you doing here?" He said, his voice slightly sore, but also cold. It made Stephanie worry in guilt again. She had a feeling that he would sound like that.  
"We need to talk."  
"About what? How much you love to stalk and want to know if there're other girls that want me?" He snapped, making Stephanie wince at the tone. She knew he was upset, but not THAT upset.

"Look. I know you're upset-"  
"Oh, I'm way more upset. Why did you had to be there? Why did you had to walk in that area-"  
"Why didn't you tell me that you fell in love with me?" Bucky was silent when Stephanie snapped, more annoyed than guilty.

"I do not," Bucky argued. "You're a sister to me." The confession made her heart ache, but only for a second. He was a great liar, but right now he was losing his touch.  
"Don't lie to me. Natasha told me what happened last night with you two."  
"Woman's a damn spy, not a mindreader like Wanda."  
"But, she's good at reading emotions, espeically behind a mask. Which you broke," Stephanie argued back.  
"I. Am Not. In love with anyone," Bucky snapped, glaring at her darkly.  
"Then why are you still in your room?" She said, completely uneffected by his glare.

"If you are not so heartbroken, why stay in your room? A room with a garbage bin, filled with snot-filled tissues, slightly red and puffy eyes, and an atmosphere that feels like someone's - which is YOU - going through a deep dished depression?!" Stephanie never thought she would be annoyed by him again, just like last time when they argued how Stephanie wanted to be in the army so badly. It wasn't even just for her country, since she was tired of just sitting in her room because she was able to die easily than the other soldiers, but it was a way for her to be close to Bucky since in the army not much women would be soldiers. So she wouldn't have to worry about other women by his side, other than herself.

However, after that test was successful and she became Captain America, only to go off to HYDRA to get the Howling Commandos, soldiers were getting attached to her and Bucky kept pushing her to live a little. It just made her know there that Bucky still saw her as the tiny little Stephanie who's a little sister to him. After everything she been through, she never expected for Bucky to like her back but either way her love for him continued to stay strong. It showed hope for love was coming her way someday.

And now, that hope was still here, but not in the situation she expected to be in; Bucky's bedroom, with the owner clearly annoyed and upset with all of it. There was silence in the room before Bucky finally answered.  
"...Bruce gave me his cold." It was spoken in a soft tone, which ticked her off further from the lie.  
"Oh, really? That's the most stupid excuse you can think of! You immediately got away from the guy the moment he started sneezing on the first day, and you continued giving him space through the entire time. How could you easily catch his cold?"  
"Doesn't germs spread?"  
"Not when the giver kept covering his mouth and nose everytime he coughed or sneezed. Seriously, Bucky!"

"Okay fine," Bucky said, defeated. "I didn't get his cold, but that doesn't mean I will tell you what's wrong with me."  
"So there is something wrong with you!" Stephanie said, getting more interested.  
"Yeah. Yeah, there's something wrong with me! You happy?!"  
"No, cause you won't tell me why! You said it yourself; I'm a sister to you. A sister who is clearly heartbroken on how we don't talk that much anymore, and barely understand each other. We're nothing like we used to be in Brooklyn."

Bucky smirked at her, "Of course we're nothing like them. Things changed for the better or worse. You became a hero for the country and still is the same strong, muscular, clearly healthy soldier that represents not only the country, but for women who would want to be in the army like you. While for little ole' me, the guy who used to be in the Howling Commandos and then fell off a train, became a weapon for the enemy he was able to get away from, thanks to you. A weapon who lost every part of memory that made me who I am, and made me more focused on the missions in murder." As he spoke, his smirk slowly turned into a swoul with a dark glare, that made Stephanie weakened down at the sight.

"And then, because of you I was able to get my memories back, one by one slow and painfully. Because of you, I realized what I have done as the Winter Soldier. Because of you, I realized who I lost; not only myself, but my entire life!"  
He was leaning closer to her, catching her off guard.  
"Because of you, I wanted to be myself again, but knew that I can't! I was broken, I was cold-hearted, I WAS F***ED UP INSIDE AND OUT!"  
The exclaim caused her to fall off the bed with a squeal, but the anger still didn't drop from his face.  
"Because of you, my life is more confusing! Because of you, I can't focus on anything right or wrong anymore! Because of you, I can't try to fight my thoughts."

Bucky got off the bed, and instantly the blonde got up, now more getting scared as she looked at the broken, dark, and anger in his damp greyish eyes. It reminded her of looking at the real Bucky, back on the hellicarrier before she fell into the water.


	8. Chapter 8

It's been so long since she saw the darkness in his eyes, along with the pain and confusion inside his irises. It just cracks her heart to see him like this. But it broke since she was the one that caused it in the first place. All because she was something she shouldn't have seen, and now Bucky was more upset than ever. Except it's more on himself then her, but it still bugged her that she caused him to be like this.

"Look, Bucky. I didn't mean to be there when it happened. It just... happened! I didn't even see it coming!" Stephanie explained, still worried for him. 'But, then again it was a night club for me; it makes sense why sexy women like her would actually do something like that without giving a damn,' she thought to herself. "I swear. I was just walking around in the evening."  
"Which is something you rarely do. Back in Brooklyn, and now," Bucky reminded her, the dark tone still there. The guy had a point; she rarely did, except when she was fully concentrated on a mission to fight evil or look for he––Bucky, just Bucky! "Now, why would you do something like that?" He said, raising an eyebrow while the seriousness had added curiosity. Now, the blonde soldier was the one that was speechless, and blushed brightly.

Stephanie kept gaping and closing her mouth, unsure what to say. This, however, caused Bucky to be more curious, and it wasn't long before a smirk slowly appeared on his face. "Ah, so I was right after all."  
Stephanie blinked, "Right about what?"  
"You love me. As a crush." Stephanie's blush spread across her face, and towards her ears to the tips. A sheepish smile then appeared on her face.  
"W-w-w-why would you s-s-say that?" She stuttered, unsure of what to say now. Which was a first, and continued to interest him further. "I-I-I was just h-having a nice, peaceful walk, a-a-and I so happened to n-notice you, m-m-m-m––lip-locked with a girl!" 'Tramp,' she corrected her head. "I-I-It's not like I was j-jealous or something."

"You don't say. Then, if you knew about how heartbroken I was, why didn't you come this morning? Actually, in fact! Why did you slam the door last night? Was it because of what you saw?"  
"NO!" Stephanie blurted out, the blush spreading. "I... I was upset with something else!"  
"What then?"  
"...Tyra Banks eliminated a model I loved. F-From America's Top Model." Her sheepish smile spread a little while Bucky gave her a face that said "...You think I'm that stupid, don't ya?" Knowing she was defeated, her smile became a pout while her blue eyes looked away from the handsome man in front of her.

What she now realized was the moonlight, shining behind him that made him as mysterious when she first saw him as the Winter Soldier. Even though, there was rarely any lighting on him. How the darkness covered his front completely, making him a shadow, but his beautiful grey-blue eyes shined upon it. It made her able to see every emotion he made, other than the tones of voice he was making. However, she couldn't help but think of him as a handsome knight, looking through his helmet to have her look at his eyes and be hypnotized by it.

"Stephanie, we both know that you are a horrible liar," Bucky started. "Especially when you're the type of girl who's more concerned of a injured soldier, then a skinny-as-a-pole girl who was dropped out by a famous dame." Stephanie smiled a bit; the Brooklyn side of him was coming out once in a while.

"How about–" Stephanie shot her head up the moment she saw his foot move, looking up at him. "–You tell me–" Stephanie moved unconsciously, having her fall backwards in the middle of the bed. Her elbows propped her up the same time Bucky placed his palms on the bed beside them and stared down at her, a devilish look stared down at an innocent angel's. "–the truth." Steph had to hold back a whimper. Just hearing his voice getting all dominant and cocky made her more vulnerable.

"I know you, Steph. As well the plan you made with Natasha." That caught her attention, and widen her eyes further.  
"You know?!"  
"Why did you think that I didn't care on raising my voice the moment I spoke with you?" Bucky said. Now that she thought about it, Bucky––still getting used to the Avengers––rarely raised his voice around the others, even if he was by himself in his room where no one would hear him. And now that she was thinking clearly, what was she doing? Why was Bucky being all moody all of a sudden, from being heartbroken then guilty then angry and now cocky? Just the thought of it was now making her annoyed and angered herself. Grabbing his shoulders, causing the man to blink in surprise and then yell, she turned both of them over to have her pin him to the bed. He looked at her, speechless.

Bucky didn't not see this coming. Nor what the blonde then said later on. "Don't start placing the blame on me, mister." She was becoming Captain America, but more stern and strict on the subject. "I saw you make out with a girl, Sam saw me and made you know that I saw what didn't want to see, Natasha confronted you about it and then found out that when you were kissing that...that tramp–!" Bucky blinked at the insult. That's a first, too. "–you were thinking of me the entire time it happened. You broke down in tears, thinking I wouldn't like you anymore while believing you were a hooker again. I broke down crying last night, thinking that I had no chance with you, you will continue to see me a friend or sister, and that the girls you would get in the future would be more beautiful, sexy, and less muscular than me; a total babe one would see in a regular magazine or a playboy!"

Bucky continued being speechless and constantly blinked up at the girl in surprise. He never heard her this stern––well he did, but not in THIS type of siutation. And it's been a while since she was this mad. He recalled a memory in the past when they fought about her being in the army when she was still in her fragile stage, and that type of mad was the same as this one he was hearing right now, as well see. But this time, he just didn't know what to say; the girl confessed the truth on both of their situations because of what happened last night. He can't think of anything else now. He was distracting his problem before by being cocky, and now Stephanie was the serious one that brought it back and made him unsure what to do now.

"Bucky, I am tired from all of the stress! I don't want to lose you from my life. I don't care if it's like a friendship thing, a sibling thing, or just as a crush; I love you and I can't stand on losing you again. Yes, Natasha and the others are gone; we are the only people in the building because they know it's best for us to be alone and work this out. Just... Just do something to fix it!" She said, completely frustrated. She then waited on what the speechless man below her would do next.


	9. Chapter 9

Bucky stared up at the woman. Saltwater dews shed from her sadden sapphire eyes, streaming down her redden cheeks of embarrassment. Soft sniffles came from her slightly stuffed nostrils while her muscular hands, gripping on the sheets of the bed, were shaking and Bucky could notice since the shaking spread on her arms.

He... He didn't know what to do now. First he was depressed on the idea that Stephanie was completely upset about him kissing a woman he clearly never met, nor was a being he was willing to call anytime. That door slam really got to him after playfully chuckling at Tony's drunk mess more than what the billionaire said on calling the cheek. Then he got all mad – possibly from the small amount of alcohol remaining inside of him – when Stephanie got into his business and he ended up taking his anger out to her.

He didn't mean to do that, but that doesn't mean she had the right to think she deserved to know every detail about him. Sure, they are friends but this was something he didn't want to talk about... It wasn't long before he got cocky, but he had a reason. He was trying to mess with her enough until this moment came to an end and they could go on to their separate ways. But... Even he knew it was tricky, especially on Captain America. An emotional Captain America.

He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have gone last night. If he knew something like this would happen from a psychic (Wanda, no less), none of this would be happening. But then again, this was the closest and most conversational moment they ever had they haven't done in so long. As well, the most emotional. That part he hated, especially since he caused it in the first place. His beautiful girl, the love of his life, was upset to the bone on this whole, pathetic argument.

"Bucky..." He blinked from his thoughts as he looked up at the girl. He noticed a new, but familiar emotion was added in her eyes before her blonde bangs covered them. He knew them so well. He'd seen them on the victims the Winter Soldier killed. The same emotion he had when HYDRA took him and made him a tool, a weapon. The same emotion was now her eyes, having him know what she was thinking: him denying her, and avoiding the whole situation.  
Fear.

He caused that, just like he caused the emotion when he was the weapon for the enemy. He never wanted this to happen...

"Just... Do something..." Stephanie's voice was small and shy with sadness. Other than losing her mother, Sarah, and then Bucky from the train, this had to be the most emotional experience she has been through. Love was a strong emotion to go through, and Stephanie is tired of the losses she gets from it. Her mother, her best friend from the past, the Howling Commandos, Peg... This was too much. She just wanted this to end. Soon, a soft broken giggle came from her.

"You know what... Let... Let's just forget about," she said, softly – almost silent – before getting up and headed to the door. Bucky quickly got, wanting to stop her but froze when she spoke further. "Let's p-pretend this never happened. I-I-It was a stupid idea anyway." She was trying to stay strong and confident, but her cracking voice wasn't making it affective. "We are getting caught up on something as ridiculous as kissing a girl, and I just so happened to saw you at the wrong timing. I mean, is it fall something to ruin our lives about? To be depressed over?

"We're human, for God's sake! It's life! No one is suppose to be in control of the other, or trying to make the other convince that one is perfect and wouldn't dare hurt the other." She sniffed softly as she thought back on her words. She was right. This problem was stupid since the beginning, and didn't make any sense the moment it happened. She should have never slammed her door, even if it was an excuse on being heartbroken. It was Bucky's life, and her pain caused his pain of rejection and disgust. It was aggravating. It was embarrassing. It was... pointless.

"It's... It's how we are. And... This shouldn't have happened." She turned, looking at him with a surprisingly calm appearance, despite the singular and last tear that was streaming down her cheek before being wiped away. "Bucky, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have never went to that club. I should have just passed it or went to the other direction, or not walk at all so we wouldn't have this problem. But, I don't regret one thing. I..."

"I do love you. More than a friend or brother. And it hurts me to see kiss another woman, especially that 'thing'," she said, sneering at the side on the thought before shaking it off. "But, I also want you to be happy. I always wanted you to be happy ever since we gain your trust and got you out of HYDRA. Ever since I got you and the Howling Commandos from them... Ever since we became friends. I'm not perfect, but i-it made me a little happy that you thought about me when you kissed her." Bucky blushed at that. He's gonna get that redhead for that. "I... I didn't want to ruin this friendship, or whatever we have now. I love you, Bucky Barnes, and like I said before I don't want to lose you.

"So, it's okay if you are in denial of the whole 'loving me' thing. You're new at this ever since we got you out of HYDRA's grasp. I just... Bucky, I––MHM!"  
Her words were interrupted by Bucky's sudden actions of walking quick to her, grasped her cheeks, and immediately kissed her without a damn about the world around them.


	10. Chapter 10

Stephanie always imagined this moment, but it had more of a romantic atmosphere in the room. However, the kiss was just as she wanted it to be: breathless. It took her breath away at how sweet his lips were against her, soften by the tears he shed before, and how it was attached to hers as if they matched quite nicely. As if their lips were destined to touch and never break apart.

Hours passed – really were a few minutes – before she felt the man's lips be pulled away from her own, making her silently whimper in disagreement. It was getting good!  
"I love you." Sapphire eyes were shot open at the words. What?  
"I love you, Stephanie Rogers," Bucky spoke again. Truth in his greyish blue eyes shined as she stared into them. "But, I don't deserve you. I kept secrets from you so I wouldn't get hurt. I kept my distance because I was scared of what would happen if I got too attached to you. I had so much imaginations on you that the thought of you being with another man... Makes me want to be the Winter Soldier again. So I wouldn't remember the pain."

Stephanie slightly winced at the idea. She could lose him again, as well would have to go through the internal suffering. It was too much for her on it. Especially when it would be her fault on not understanding Bucky's feelings... Just the thought of it, being created in reality ached her heart.

"The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, let alone lose you again." He removed his hands from her soft, flustered cheeks. "I don't deserve such kindness from you; as well your worries, your hope, and your love. All towards me. I'm ashamed of what I did back at the club, but when I found out you saw... I felt I should be in the ice instead of you. You know, from that plane crash? That way I can fulfill on having myself out of your mind for good."  
Stephanie shook her head, disliking how much Bucky was bringing himself down on his own words. She felt her tears coming up when she looked up at him, but didn't speak a word as the man continued talking.

"Throughout our times in Brooklyn... I always acted as the big brother, looking out for his sister who's my best friend, too. I had work well done for easy payments, made sure enough food and affordable medicine was still in the home, and to have lil' Steph be happy and healthy as long as I love her in any way possible. Now, I'm more like... Like some 'goth' child, slowly going through the depression cure, from rehab, while lil' Stephanie became 'Super Woman of America' and took my place as the hard worker."  
"I work hard, too," Stephanie argued, a little upset by it.  
"Not in the way I was thinking: making sure that my love was still strong enough to keep you alive longer. You didn't know how I felt every time you get sudden asthma attacks. You didn't know how I felt inside every time you think about joining the army, and actually fight the enemy. You didn't know how I really felt inside... When I thought you didn't need me anymore."

The annoyance Stephanie had slowly faded as he spoke until she was shock and hurt by his words. Did she really not know her own best friend's feelings for her?  
"Despite how happy you were, and I was proud too for what you done, I honestly felt... like..." He sighed before walking over to the side of the bed, and sat down. He remained quiet as his back arched over slightly, his elbows on the thighs with his hands dangling, and his head down with the dark hair curtained his face.

Stephanie stood where she was, staring at the man's position before walking over to him and got on her knees in front of him. It pained her to be here right now. Sure, she was glad that Bucky was confessing the truth about his feelings, but it ached how much Bucky was more disappointed with himself than ever. She didn't want this happen at all.  
"Like what, Bucky?" She then asked. She didn't wanted to ask, but she just had to know. There was a hunch she had, but she just wanted to know... Intense silence was made in the room, Stephanie patiently wait for her broken lover to speak. She opened her mouth a little to speak, only to hear a sigh and what came after.  
"Like... Unwanted."

Stephanie felt a tear stream down, but made no move to wipe it away. Unwanted? Why would he think that? He's definitely wanted! And in a good way! He doesn't deserve this pain. Especially after everything he has been through... She can't. She can't let him suffer like this. This was the final point of her life. She just can't! She doesn't want Bucky to feel this way anymore! She needed to do something... She... She blushed brightly. She wouldn't. She had a reputation. Well, it's not really about her reputation. More on her shyness and nervous nature, because this was about Bucky. He was feeling the same thing she felt during the war, especially in a more personal situation. And she wanted to repay him in a way they both wouldn't forget.

She placed her head down, her hair curtained her face as well before taking a breath. She could do this. She will do it. WIthout looking, she moved her sudden delicate hands over Bucky's, getting a slight jump from him.  
"Bucky?" He moved his head up, looking at her.  
"What?"  
Silence came in the room before lifting her head up, curiosity and kindness in her sapphire eyes. "Could you...lay down on the middle of the bed?"  
Bucky raised an eyebrow, confused by the request.


	11. Chapter 11

Throughout everything she would have asked him, she asked him that. To rest in the middle of the bed for her. A quick memory of his imagination came before fading away again. He hoped it wouldn't happen now, not in the state he was in. But, at the same, he also wished it did, just to see if she really did love him. Sure, her words spoke truth, but just like the saying: 'Actions speaks louder than words'. He wouldn't mind seeing what actions she would give if it was exactly what he was thinking...

Wait... What was he thinking? He shouldn't be feeling aroused now! This wasn't a good time at all for it! He's hurt, he's scared, he's...confused. He doesn't know what to do, or what to say her.  
'Stephanie, I can't make love to you'? How could he say that when he doesn't know what the girl plans on doing.  
'Stephanie, just leave me alone'? No way. He needed her now than ever since he was found by her and Sam, and was constantly comforted by the blonde beauty of a soldier for freedom.  
'Stephanie, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable on doing that...'? Okay, that part was a lie. He would be comfortable with anything she would do to him. Even slap him hard across his face, just enough to have a red hand print on it. He deserved it for giving her the wrong conclusion, and making her cry. He can't bare to see a woman cry, mostly if it was Stephanie. And if he was the one that done it...

"Bucky?" The said man blinked from his thoughts, and stared back at the beauty above him.  
Wait. Above?  
How did that––It was then he realized that even though his thoughts were on haywire, his body was automatic as he was currently laying on the middle of the bed, with the blonde resting on his abs.

Man, Hydra must have messed him bad to actually have his own body betray him to follow orders––without even using his mind! But, then again, getting orders from Stephanie wasn't something he felt ashamed or upset about. He loved the girl and felt like he didn't deserve her, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't listen to her at what is important to say.  
Even if it was something stupid or short.  
His eyes soon roamed over her body's position. Her beautiful butt rested upon his abs as she sat up, her posture well-formatted while staring down at the man with a large blush across her face.

It was there he noticed the emotion in her eyes. What was that...? Uncertainty? For what? He raised an eyebrow at her. 'What is she doing?' He thought as he didn't understand. What was she thinking..?  
He soon blinked again and raised both eyebrows at the sudden actions she did. The tips of her fingers, passing the knuckles, hid below the collar of her shirt before curling and pulling it. He watched as a statue as the super soldier strip her large shirt off, leaving her in her black shorts that stopped to her knees, her hair still free and slightly curled from hair ties...  
... And a matching solid black bra, holding up the large peach coconuts women are familiar of calling them breasts.

Not only was his heart racing, but a blush completely consumed his face as a pink tomato. He knew what to say, but he knew it wouldn't be as serious as he wanted it to be. Just by the glance alone already was making him aroused, causing an internal battle inside so Stephanie wouldn't know "the soluting soldier" close to her cute, large butt.

Bucky soon jumped a bit when Stephanie moved forward, her hands laid out beside his head, her torso forward to almost laying on top of him completely with her large bust right under his nose above, and her blonde, radiant hair curtained her face's sides. The bangs she also bared, but constantly were blown back, were able to hid her eyes, leaving her blush and below be seen by those beautiful eyes Bucky bares.  
"S-Steph?" He stuttered, internally freaking out. Why wouldn't he be? Any person with their crush in the same position right now would do the same damn thing! "W-w-what are y-you doing? I-I-I n-never seen y-you do something-ing this..." He gulped. "...i-interesting..."

The blonde maiden of a soldier stayed silent, a statue she was despite the racing heart Bucky failed to hear. He was unaware of her fingers, curing on the sheet Bucky rested upon. He wasn't aware of the internal battle Stephanie was also having herself, but with her mind.  
'WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS! OH, WHY DID I TOOK OFF MY SHIRT?! NOT ONLY AM I COLD, BUT BUCKY COULD SEE IT! THEM! BOTH OF THEM! OH WHY! WHY DID I DO THIS?! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN! He just looked so broke and unwanted and I just... I just... UGGGHH!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!'

She sighed softly, getting Bucky's attention again. With a large blush across her face, darker than his, she looked at him with complicated determination in her eyes. It made Bucky raise an eyebrow at the sight, as well dimmed the blush a bit.  
"If... If you want me to stop, I will. I just... I just..."  
She closed her eyes and turned away, her heart pounding as hell as she felt tears come up. She can't do this. She isn't ready. This was too much for her. Things were horrible in the beginning, and now it was getting worse. She pulled back, her head still turned and hidden by her hair.  
"I'm sorry... This was a stupid idea since the beginning... I'll just go..."

Stephanie started to move off, reaching to grab her shirt and head back to her room. Cry her eyes out and just wish to be dead tonight so that she didn't have to feel the pain of determine heartbreak in the morning. With urges to get away from Bucky; as well, never talk to him again. Ideas of trying to hide or deal with it while knowing its just going to make her feel more horrible, which would definitely effect her job as Captain America. She can't do this. She wasn't like the other girls in Brooklyn or any woman now. She was no Natasha. Nothing like Wanda. Or Pepper. Or even Sharon. She was none of these determine woman. When she's Captain America, yes. But, no matter how big or small she was physically, lil' Stephanie was still that small weakling that has no chance on being the right woman for any man.


	12. Chapter 12

  
"Wait."  
Stephanie froze where she was. She was already off the man and had one bent leg on the bed while the other had it's foot on the floor. She stayed in that position as the man she loved held her wrist suddenly, with a hold firm but gentle. Her blonde hair successfully covered her reaction.

What did he want now? She already messed up on thinking Bucky wasn't interested in her, and just made it horrifyingly embarrassing by...actually trying to be like that damn tramp. She can feel her eyes roam up at the negative thoughts came in her head on her actions.  
'What the f***, Steph! Why would you do something like that?'  
'You had better dignity than that. I can't believe you would do that.'  
'That was the most stupidest thing you ever did other than the ice incident years ago. That dame did better than you.'  
'Why did I ever get interested in you?'

The last one broke her heart. She knew Bucky didn't say nor would say something like that to her. (Unless he was the Winter Soldier again, but it wouldn't be the real him saying it.) However, just the thought alone counts. Why would Bucky be interested in her? She not only embarrassed herself, but wasn't even strong enough to show how much Bucky was important to her. She knew her action possibly gave Bucky the wrong idea, but the panic in her caused a fail on the decision she made. She really wished she was dead now...

"Stephanie..." His voice was gentle with something Stephanie couldn't make out, but she can guess it. Her depression got the best of her; Bucky was going to deny her. She didn't stop a tear to shed from one of her eyes silently. So much for being the strong, freedom fighter. Can't even be brave in a personal situation like this.  
"Stephanie. What... What were you trying to do? Were you...trying to have sex with me...out of pity?"  
Her head jerked up, whipping the front strands forward. What?

"Stephanie, you know I love you, but... I won't have sex with you if you're just doing it out of pity. I want to make love with you on the idea that we both feel it's right, not through guilt. A simple hug would have been better than that."  
The same time the hold was loosen until it was off was when Stephanie turned her head to him, her widen shock eyes stared at the soldier. His hands were fists at his sides, while his own hair covered his expression but it was clear; his voice and position was enough to say, 'Do you not care..?'

This was not what she expected.

"Wh-What? N-no, Bucky! That's not what I meant to do!" She suddenly exclaimed, now determine as if it was made from a spell.  
"Then what was that about?!" He argued, still not looking at her but his fists squeezed slightly at the annoyance and pain.  
An awkward silence was made in the tense atmosphere. It was then Bucky felt movement on the bed, the sound of the bed creaking loud again. He suddenly shot his eyes open and looked up.

At least not all the way up. He mostly looked down. Staring at the girl, who was curled up on his chest, her ear pressed against the pec where his heart pumped calmly, but slightly raced. Her delicate-like arms wrapped around his waist as she hugged him.  
This wasn't he expected.  
"I meant this, Bucky." She said. "I thought... I thought you wouldn't like it, but... Remember that day back in the apartment. It was during a storm, and you just came back from a date, rushing home... Back to me..."  
Bucky listened to her words clearly.  
Brooklyn... Storm... Rushing home... Lil' Stephanie... Date... Stephanie... Stephanie...  
Bucky's eyes widen as a memory rushed through his mind.

_Brown shoes slam against the soaked sidewalk, slightly splashing the small apart of saltwater. A dark brown jacket is lifted, shielding the owner from the rain. Finding a store with a tent outside, he immediately went underneath it. He sighed in relief as he whipped his jacket to remove most of the dews that laid on his damp jacket. He soon turned around, and looked inside from the display window. It wasn't long before he found the wall clock. 4:56pm. Damn. Two hours late. Stephanie could be close to panicking now._

_He sighed in defeat as he plotted down on a bench the back of his knees was hitting. He rest his head back against it. "I should have left earlier if I knew there was rain coming in... Oh wait. I did. I just forgot." He groaned loudly at the lack of memory._  
_A quick memory of himself, getting ready for work –– and the date later on –– while hearing the news, telling the weather. Stephanie warned Bucky to be careful and come back before the rain comes._  
_"Don't worry, Steph. Your knight in rusty armor will be there for his princess," he joked with a wink, making the girl giggle while rolling her eyes._

_Sighing, he soon looked back at the rain. He smirked softly as he realized the rain lessen, giving a slightly good clearance on his location. He wasn't far. He was a few minutes away until he was back inside the apartment. Without a second thought, he got up and had his jacket cover his head once again before running out of the area.  
"I'll be home soon, Stephanie..."_

_He was thankful that he got back under the roof –– or floor for the flight above –– of the apartment building he was in and headed over to the wooden door. Quickly, he unlocked it and entered inside, shutting the door with his back as he leaned against it._

_He panted a few times, his energy wasted by the running and making sure he didn't get hit by cars on the road he passed. A few almost bumps into passbyers, but other than that no problem.  
His eyes soon shot open. (When did he ever closed them?) The apartment... It's too quiet. Normally, Stephanie would greet his welcome back home, or in this case scold at him on forgetting to be home earlier, finishing with "You can be such an idiot, you jerk." And then say welcome back with a needy hug of comfort and relief._

_"Steph?" He called while walking, but got no answer aside the rain hitting the window in the living room. "Stephanie?"_  
_He had his jacket already held on a hook, as well took off his ruined shoes as he continued walking further in the apartment. He turned around the area to see no sign of blonde hair anywhere._  
_And then a noise was made. He turned his direction towards the door. The bedroom's door._  
_He should have known._

 _Grabbing the handle, he turned it and pushed the door to see the new view in the bedroom. Right in the middle of the bed was a curled bundle of a woman, her hair resting on the pillow behind her head while her hands held her knees close to her small chest. One could tell, even though a large blanket covered her figure. He stayed where he was to see her body softly shaking. And wasn't even that cold here._  
_Bucky knew right away. She was crying. For him._  
_He made a sad smile before heading over to the girl. A girl so stubborn to be a sister can be quite a worrisome woman. "Steph-_

 _"WOAH!" That came out of no where! His knee didn't even touched the bed when the small body suddenly shot from being a armadillo and pulled Bucky to the bed. He didn't even remember how she even got her arms around his waist, let alone was able to pull him to the bed without harm to each other._  
_Blinking twice, he looked at the girl curled up to his chest. If this situation wasn't this awkward and sudden, he would admire her futher for being adorable like this._  
_"Steph."_  
_"... You're late."_  
_Bucky was able to hear the heartbreak under the failed serious tone, despite being covered. A small smile was made before wrapping his arms around her, holding her close to his body. "I'm sorry. I won't scare you like that again, punk."_  
_"... You better not...jerk..."_  
_The two stayed where they were throughout the storm, and by the time it was nightfall the two rested in peaceful slumber. That moment was where he realized how much he care for her more than the date he didn't remember or cared about. Care enough to fall in love with her, and was determine to protect her._


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky hummed softly, smiling at the memory. "Yeah, I do," he said. "But... What does that had to do with taking off your shirt?" He didn't recall in the memory of Stephanie being half naked at all.  
"If you remember how fragile I was back then, you would know how much body heat I needed to have myself okay. You didn't know this, but I was so cold. Not just from my heart, but all over my body," she said, recalling her physical situation. "I had to use the biggest blanket we had, but I was thankful that not only did you come home mostly dry, but you stayed with me the entire time. I missed that. I miss the protection you give me. Sure, you treated me like I'm your sister, but I still love the care you give me. A few time––okay, a lot of times you did annoyed me with the constant need to protect at certain areas I can protect myself in, but...that doesn't mean I want it gone from my life."

"Stephanie," He said as he looked down at her. "What are you saying?"  
The girl lifted her head from his heart and to his face, complete eye contact; confusion meets seriously kindness.  
"I do need you. I always wanted you. You should never feel unwanted from what I do. I care for you, and I love you. I can't live my life without you. Not as a caretaker, but as my best friend. My brother. My love... You know how long it took to find you again after the hellicarrier..."  
A quick flash of pain came from Bucky's eyes, wanting to look away but he continued look at her. "But, you didn't know how much I cried for you. How much I prayed to God to have you back. How I was more determine than in any battle situation I was in, just to find you. All of the Avengers knew that, and were there to help me find you, Bucky."

"I need you, Bucky. You should never feel unwanted." She soon sat up and grasped his cheeks, have him blink. His eyes widen when she leaned down and kissed him deeply. Bucky stared wide eyed at her. He felt tears come up, but was able to push them back. He didn't want to cry. Not in sadness or happiness. This kiss... This kiss was enough. Moving a little for a better position, he wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her close as he returned the kiss.

He showed all his words to her in the kiss.  
'Thank you.'  
'I need you, too.'  
'I can't live without you either.'  
'You're worth living about.'  
The kiss got more passionate by Bucky's pushing, but Stephanie still returned it anyway. Along with the words symbolized by the kiss.  
'I want you badly.'  
'I can't let you go again...'  
'... I love you, too.'

It was better than the last time they kissed. The last one was more...gentle. And calming, despite both of their raced hearts. This time, it was intense; more deep and passionate as they shared their needy love to each other. The same time Stephanie placed a hand into Bucky's bed hair, a slight pull made as she gripped, was where Bucky rubbed his hands slowly over her bare back between the waist and the bra strap. Both moaned at the actions, making their blushes grow and their 'low desires' increase.

It was Heaven to the two. Throughout their lives, they never expected to actually be together and have the chance to express their love through a not-so simple kiss. It was just want they need. For Stephanie, she could never get over the fact that Bucky loved her. Not as a friend. Or as a sister. Really, undeniable love! It made her heart race further on the memory of him saying it just minutes ago.  
'I love you...'  
... If she died now, she would be a happy woman.

On Bucky's case, this action was better than he thought it would. Hell, this was better than the imagination he made at the club! This was Stephanie. This was her choice. This was all her. And all showed with love, true love he thought he bared alone. This physical choice was the best action he ever got from her. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around her further around her, having their torsos pressed further if possible. The blush rose at the action as she didn't see it coming, but that didn't stop her for loving it. A soft moan came from her, having Bucky slightly smirk at the sound.  
What a beautiful sound...  
'I need to hear more of that...'

Minutes longer than the last kiss, their actions were not loosen. In fact, they were decreasing the heated desire in the make out, but they didn't care. It gave them more details on it. The rush moment caused their teeth to clash a few times while their lips just smudged around, while taking small gasps of air to breathe. Now, their lips were just as before: placed as if they were meant to be together. Their tongues playfully wrestled - they battled before, and Bucky won - while savoring the lingering tastes they bared. Their now swollen lips were soften by the constant appearance of their mixed salivas touching it, as well caused a tiny trail to leak out from a side of Bucky's lips.  
Best. Kiss. Ever.

As much he didn't want to, he did need to breathe. Bucky pulled back quickly, taking a large inhale of air. What a rush! Stephanie panted softly as she watched him take multiple inhales until he relaxed. She giggled softly, getting the tired man's attention. He smirked at her as his hand slightly squeezed her skin, but she paid no attention to it.  
"That was...an interesting way...of saying 'I love you'," he said, making her squeak and look away from him. It was - pretty much - the smug expression he was making on right now that caused the shyness to come back.

"Yeah well... I tried," she said, turning back to him while one piece of her hair was twisted at the end constantly.  
"And you succeeded." He soon leaned up to give a quick kiss on her lips, having her pause her twisting. When he pulled back, she smiled at him. His disappeared blush reappeared softly at the sight at how beautiful she looked.  
"Stephanie, be honest with me." The said girl tilted her head as she waited whatever he was going to say.  
"... You took off your shirt to have sex with me."

The two stared at each other in silence. Bucky inside was anxious. Was she really willing to do it out of pity? Or just to show she was better than that flirty s***? He knew she was jealous, but he disliked the idea of her being competition to other girls. She was the only girl he wanted. The only one he needed. The only virgin he wanted to love and care for.  
"Yes." Bucky blinked at the answer. He opened his mouth to speak further, but stop when her finger touched his lips. And then froze when she leaned close to him. A look in her sapphire eyes did the trick as she spoke again.  
"... Only to make you see how much you mean so much to me..."


	14. Chapter 14

Bucky looked straight in the eyes of the woman on his lap. The beautiful glint that always made him breathless returned to her eyes, along with the emotions of careness, love, and hope. All the ones he knew that showed how much she is willing for any person. But, this is for nobody. This was all for him. Her love. Her hope. Her care. All to him. He let a smile appear on his face before grasping her cheeks softly.

It wasn't long before he pressed his lips against hers gently. As much as Stephanie wanted it more deep and passionate, just the action alone made her forget the thought as she returned the same jesture. Same goes for her hands for laying on his shoulders while Bucky's grip around her was loosen, but not released. The two continued to kiss as two teens, sharing each other's first, before a tiny squeak from the super soldier was made –– quite rare from her, even when she was skinny –– as Bucky quickly turned them over, having him now on top and laying over her strong body, treating it delicately.

Stephanie was melting under the warmth of her lover's body. Lover? Can she really call him that? After everything that has happened, including now, she was able to call him that, right? What about boyfriend? Would that work? Stephanie was so new on going this further in a relationship. She knew basic things a romantic relationship would have that she has done herself: hand-holding back when she was tiny and skinny and on a double date, which didn't last long as her date ran off for another dame; kissing, which didn't really count since Natasha told her to do it so they wouldn't be recognized by the enemy's agents –– it was awkward at first, but the girls got over and to this day Bucky wasn't aware of the 'lesbian' kiss; hugging, which she did with almost everyone that was close to her; and flirting with Shane, her former neighbor who turned out to be an agent, looking after her for Fury after the Winter Soldier came in the picture.

She was so caught up about Bucky that this was the first time she ever thought of him. His short yellow silk on his head he called hair, the nice color of blue in his eyes, his slightly tanned skin from a gentle kiss of the sun, his determination on his job, his kindness, how––  
A sudden gasp came from her. Wait, when was her lips removed from Bucky's. Bucky; that's right. Why was she thinking of Shane? It's been years since they ever talked, and this moment is on her and Bucky. Her best friend. Her lover. Her only one, who was currently sucking her neck gently while his once loosen grip around her waist was gripped further again.

It was almost like he was reading her mind. 'Stop thinking of him. You're mine...' For some reason, she whimpered softly as she imagined the man on her, growling as he spoke out the last word in her head. Oh, she was in Heaven. She soon gasped again when she felt the sucking increased on one spot on her neck, right between her collarbone and end of her neck. If she's lucky, Natasha got some foundation that can match her skin to cover the possibility of a mark, or a hickey as people in this generation say.

Soon, Bucky's lips were removed after soft nibbling and licking on the spot. At the corner of her eyes, Stephanie noticed the small smirk he bared. Yup, she got a hickey from him. A claim. All his. Stephanie was all Bucky's, and she couldn't be happier. She then watched her lover straighten up, and started to pull the collar of his own shirt before flinging it to a part of the room, not caring where it lands. Neither did Stephanie as she stared up at the torso he bared. They seen each naked before (by accident), but Stephanie was used to see his torso back in Brooklyn every time he either took off his shirt or pour water on himself when he was too hot. Much to her enjoyment.

However, seeing it again made her feel like they should be doing this in the bathroom so she can watch the lucky liquid trail down, before she licked it off happily. He was more muscular than last time; his flesh arm was muscled with his veins showing quite nicely, his pecs popped out and straighten, and his abs revealed and hard while his beautiful metal arm stayed lovely with the rest of his body. As much she hated Hydra for hurting her friend, she was actually thankful on them for keeping his strength more than before. Sure, there were a few scars and faded bruises on him, but she didn't care. He was still handsome back then and now. Nothing can change her mind on that.

It was then she realized that she also sat up, and her hands were rubbing all over the torso, slowly as if she was savoring the touch on it. Bucky's soft chuckle vibrating under her hands, making the blush she was now also aware of grew further.  
"Now you know how I feel when I see you shirtless..." Stephanie swore smoke came out of her nose when he spoke in that sexy tone of voice, as well imagined the thought of Bucky, copying her actions on her.

Another squeak came from her throat when Bucky moved forward and rewrapped around her again, making her pressed against his chest with her hands on his pecs. She was definitely going to die –– or at least pass out –– by just being this close. Being this close now in comparison to the similar closeness when they were both clothed are two completely different stories. Especially when they are the only ones being alone, no mission to interrupt them, and they were in one of their bedrooms on the bed itself.

Though a smile came on her face as she snuggled slightly on his chest while he held her. She was so caught up on his warmth, his beating heart echoing into her ear, and his muscular torso on her own that she failed to noticed the three clips on her bra removed.  
The realization soon punched its way in when her eyes were bulging out as she felt the metal and heated flesh hands, rubbing slowly on her now bare back. She was soon stiff in his arms, and not just because his metal arms were creating goosebumps as she slightly shivered.


	15. Chapter 15

Bucky noticed the stiffness Stephanie made. Figures the woman was still a virgin throughout the years, so of course she was so new to these actions. And yet, she had so much confidence shown at the beginning of all of this. It just made a soft chuckle come out of the man's lips, making the tension on her body increase. Must have thought she was being made fun of.

"I'm not laughing at you, Steph," he said, softly in her ear. Shivering her slightly at the warmth inside of it. "You're just...so adorable to me... If you want me to stop now, just tell me." Bucky love this woman so much not to force her, or to scare her in any way possible. Especially through love making. Yeah, that's right, he didn't see what they were now the same lust-filled sex practically every adult goes through with their relationships, or in having one offs. No, he saw this the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance he was waiting so long for, but never had the chance due to fear of hurting her. Especially her illness.

But now, Stephanie was healthy as a wild horse, and half naked on his lap. It was his dream: to make love for the first time with Stephanie Rogers. Not Captain America, or Sergeant Rogers. Just the same ole Steph he fell for since their time in Brooklyn, where they only had each other on the mind more than society outside the walls.

Stephanie slightly relaxed under Bucky's words. So, he wasn't making fun of her, for being so shy and incapable of going further –– over a simple of action of her bra being undone. In her head, she scolded herself. What was she doing? She was Captain America, for Pete's sake! Confident, brave, strong, and determine in protecting her country, no matter how hard it took in handling. And even when she was at the time, she was the same cocky, confident, and determine girl. Only skinny with medical problems.

However, this was different than fighting an alien, who wants to take over New York. This wasn't a mission to complete. This wasn't an Avengers, or just her job to do. It was love. A love that was created between herself...and Bucky. The man she lost then found. The man who fell from the train, but dragged her out of the water from the hellicarrier. The man who was a Sergeant in the army, to a brainwashed assassin, to a work-in-process being who wants to be good again. The man she never expected for him to fall for her...but then revealed that he has for a very long time.

She love this man for far too long, and there was no way for her nervous nature will make her mess up again. If she was so capable of fighting Hydra and beating much villains as she possibly can in her stage, it should be fine for her to let Bucky continue what he started... Which didn't continue, thanks to her nervous action.

Might as well... Taking a deep breath, she pulled back from her handsome lover's chest, and looked him straight in the eyes. While her loose bra fell unto their lap. Bucky didn't need to look down to notice; the large blush across his face was enough to make himself so bashful. Her determine mask soon broke down into being bashful as well. More than him anyway. After all, this was the first time anyone saw her without her bra on. Especially since her bust was bigger than before.

Bucky tried not, but why not? He was going to have to look at them once in a while. Or all the time if they are going any further. So he did... What a sight. Took his breath away just as last time when he saw them. It was an accident; he got back from work, and Stephanie came back from the shower. When he came in unexpectedly, he was greeted with a half naked Stephanie where half of her towel covered her lower privacy.  
But the top part was revealed before a scream of embarrassment –– and an arm covering them –– caused him to realized what he has done. He repeatedly apologized before leaving the room with his eyes shield. The entire day, the two were uncomfortable to talk to each other on that incident.

It's a surprise how Bucky can easily remembered how they looked when they were 'smaller': cute, half shells of coconuts, that were inside out. Revealing the milky and pale color of the 'milk' that made Bucky had the sudden urge to squeeze them softly in his hands, and have a wonder of taste upon them. But now...there were pale melons. Melons that can catch any man's attention, but only Bucky was the man who gets to see them personal and up close. And in his actual bedroom.

They were a sight to see and enjoy. Her nipples were perky because of the cold air in the room, but they just made her chest more delicious. Licking his lips showed it as he continued staring at them, without realizing how red Stephanie was by his glaze.  
"Y-you...c-can t-t-touch t-them..."  
Bucky blinked once before looking up to Stephanie's face, still looking to the side with her face as a tomato. He then felt a little guilty for making her more sheepish than ever because of his gawking on her chest. Something that many men did with women, even if she wanted them to or not. Mostly not... Man, he felt so bad for her.

"I-I-I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Bucky said, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away. Stephanie jerked her head to stare at him in shock.  
"Oh n-no!" She then said, surprising him. He looked back at her from the corner of his eye. "I-I mean, we're both so new at this with each other. W-well, I don't know your history with dates that much, o-other then being with so m-many dames. So I n-never expected what m-might become of you... Not that I'm not prepared for it! I know how sweet and gentle you can be at t-times that n-necessary to you, and I-I am the same with you. E-even though I'm acting like this totaled out idiot, who has no idea what to do, despite all the videos I kept seeing and I still don't get the point of the feeling. But now that I'm here, with you, in your bed, both of us half naked while everyone else was out for the hotel. Which made me now think about what Natasha meant, cause I kept thinking to myself that 'Why would she think of going to a hotel today?' And have everyone else involved it the reserved place was just beyond me..."

Bucky stared at her in silence as she continued blabbing out her thoughts without realizing yet that she was practically distracting herself. It made him smile. Same ole Stephanie. The same little Steph, whose now big bust was slightly wiggling by her constant small jerks of movements when she was explaining what she was taking about. She did that back in Brooklyn, and still does it now. Oh, how he love this woman...

"And on top of that -- Oh my goodness, I'm blabbing right now, aren't I? I'm so sorry. You know I can be so caught up with my thoughts that I forget my surroundings, and what was originally doing. I'm sorry, Bucky. I didn't mean to--" She gasped sharply. Her shocked eyes stared at the cool and collective eyes Bucky got with a smirk.  
"Relax your thoughts. Focus on this." Afterwards, still keeping eye contact, a nipple was placed inside his mouth while his rough hands delicately squeezed her globes, continuing to make her breathless.


	16. Chapter 16

Stephanie knew that the moment she became Captain America, her life will never be the same. Sure, she was able to succeed in the goals she wanted to do for her country that deserved it. Protecting the freedom, defending the people, and be an image to change society for the better. But even though she was the most invincible soldier for America, she was a woman who never will get the chance to go through female experiences.

Never get to go to school again, never get to hang out with friends, go to concerts done by artists she love, never...have a family...never gain love...never make a peaceful family. She knew that all of it, with others, will go down the drain when she took the duty. As much she appreciate how much America became more independent, she sometimes envied others who get live their lives with the best of happiness.

However, she was wrong. She gained friendship with the Avengers, she returned to her life with her art again (she was still surprised to still have the skills after a few hours of drawing on a random piece), and she got love. With Bucky, the man she lost then got back again. The man she never thought would love her more than a sister. And the same man who made her lose her mind with the gentleness of his touch.

After treating her breasts sweetly, he moved further down on her body to give her more admiration and gratitude at her beauty. And the entire time, Stephanie was breathless and moaning at how wonderful it was. His touch was firm, but gentle to her––he didn't treat her like glass, but didn't try to break her. His kisses were delicate yet small, making her long for his lips more to press against her skin. His heat was like a virus, spreading only to her and she never wants to go away. She never expected to have this much love from a man through his long lost touch.

Because of the sweet nature he gave her, Stephanie wasn't really someone who was familiar to it -- thanks to the constant hitting, constant gun shots, and dark glares from male enemies. Something that the Winter Soldier used to do... But not anymore. Bucky was in control again, and by the sounds she was making, he was doing a damn good job at it. Especially 'down at the ports'.

He didn't know what got over him. One taste on his tongue, and the next thing he knew 'Stephanie' was treated as a delicious treat that could give him cavities and stomach aches in a second. But he didn't care! Heck, the guy went through worse before! But, this was just amazing. It was the first time he would ever to get this far down, though. Back in Brooklyn, the farthest down he got on a dame was on her neck, leaving a small mark that no one was able to noticed.

However, if the female super soldier actually went out swimming, it would be best to have some waterproof foundation. ALL over her body.

Her skin was as sweet as 'herself'.

"OH, BUCKY!" Stephanie moaned out, arching her back at the feeling. Bucky loved it. It was music to his ears. And he was grateful that none of the Avengers were in the building to hear (Smooth move, Natasha. You knew what could happen faster than Wanda!). Her long fingers curled over his bed sheets, along with her toes, as she felt the wet organ flickering inside. Any longer and she will explode.

Suddenly, Bucky pulled back while wiping his lips clean with the back of his hand. Even though she was grateful on not releasing yet, she whimpered at the loss. It got his attention, creating a smug look as he crawled up to her face.  
"Someone enjoyed it~" Bucky said, smirking devilishly. It made Stephanie shiver a little under him, and he noticed that too. "Never expected Captain America can be so..." He leaned close to her, the tips of their noses touching, "...yummy." It was clear for the blonde to hear the growl coming from the back of his throat.

She immediately threw her head back, hoping to hide her blush. Though, she failed to realized it was another opportunity for the man –– she noticed when a squeak came out of her mouth. Her large blush grew as she whimpered by Bucky's nibbling on her neck, slowly making a new mark. She gripped on his shoulders, the same time her jaw dropped in enjoyment.  
"O-OH!" She moaned. "B-Bucky!"

The said man pulled back a little, and smirked at the sight of the small bruise, becoming a new hickey to her body. He was claiming her all over her body. If anyone was bound to see her body without the foundation, he wanted to make sure to know that she was ALL of his. Not just her heart, but her body as well. With a smile, he then leaned back down to make another mark––  
"HM!" He shot his head forward towards the bed's crown, a blush appearing on his face.

His eyes soon squeezed shut, moaning softly inside his closed mouth. He failed to notice a movement from his lover, but the words she spoke in his ear was something he could never ignore.  
"My turn, baby..." Bucky made a moan, more audio with his lips agape, when Stephanie put a bit pressure in rubbing his groin. His now rock hard groin.


	17. Chapter 17

Bucky knew that after becoming the Winter Soldier, as well revert to his old self slowly, he would never have the Heaven he hoped for when he was young.

He didn't believe that the kindness and care from people will get him to feel he got to it. He didn't believe the reverting will make him capable of being grateful for being alive (other than being with Stephanie). And he most definitely believed that a gentle touch would make him happy. Once in a while, an unexpected touch can easily freak him out, or even trigger a moment when he was the Winter Soldier. Nope, Heaven would never come his way.

And then Stephanie touched him. On his face, his neck, his torso..., and lastly his groin. And throughout the time being, her touch was gentle. So gentle he never expected to wish for more. Especially 'down there'.

As he was positioned to laying his back on the bed, he brought his head forward after bring brought back a few minutes ago, just to watch the blonde beauty's head going up and down, while the sweet pink lips that touched his own were wrapped around his hard stick. He moaned at the wonderful wet heat around him while he placed his flesh hand on her hair, gripping it slightly. Bucky never has been grateful to be alive right now...

Heck, he wished he told her he loves her a long time aog if I meant getting the chance to finally make love with her.

"Oh, Steph..." He said, breathless as he panted. The said beauty continued to bob her head, as she gave pleasure to her love. Bet that dame at the club did plenty herself, but not as wonderful and memorizing as Stephanie's work. At the beginning, after speaking of her turn, she then pushed him over to lay on his back, and had the naked girl, right on top of his covered groin.

There, he watched her without even a command from her to not touch one body part of her. At least, not yet. Stephanie soon started grinding her wet self –– more wet, thanks to his mouth –– causing his underwear to start soaking. And his groin possibly getting bigger. Stephanie must have felt it as she pause for a second to whimper at the pulsing. He chuckled softly at the action, but soon groaned happily when she resumed, along with pressing herself down futher to have the underwear fully in between her folds.

After the teasing was over, she brought herself back and did the work of taking off his underwear. The stick hit her face unexpectedly, causing her to madly blush at the sight.

If this was an anime scene, the girl might possibly have a nosebleed worse than the viewers. Especially since she was the cause of its hardness...

After shaking herself back to reality –– mostly to Bucky's comment, "It's waiting for you, baby..." –– she finally removed his underwear from his knees, before getting in between his legs again. One touch of her hand, wrapping around it, and he already felt his orgasm close. However, he was still capable of holding it back. He didn't want to cum just yet. And not in the open, either...

"It's so big, Bucky," she said, still shocked about how big it was. The large stick plused under her touch, while the veins it bared rubbed against her palm. The tip was a cherry rid, glistened with his precum. The rest of it was slightly damp, thanks to her, though.  
"All because of you, love," Bucky said as he faintly gripped the sheets.

"Do you have any idea how many times I came at the image of you in my head? Or how I longed for love making with you? How hot you would feel inside? How wet I can get you by f****** you in the way you wanted?" Bucky confessed to her, making her heart pound.  
Really? She wondered how long... Just his seductive words alone were already getting her wet again.  
"Or the feeling of your breasts, rubbing it while I thrust and you hold them in place? But the most interesting...would be those beautiful lips of yours..."  
Stephanie stopped stroking, and just blankly stared at the stick. He sat up, and moved forward without touching her. He then whispered near her face, his warm breath hitting her skin to make her skin grow goosebumps.

"Just the idea of having your lips, wrapped around my little guy would make me more in love with you. How you treat it will effect how I will enjoy it; as well beg for more from you. The way your hand strokes it, the way you lick it, the way you suck it as a icepop (pun indended lol), and the way you wet it real good... just enough to easily slip in those flods of yours. I love you, Stephanie. And it would be an honor to have you suck me happily."  
Stephanie let out a squeak from her closed mouth while her entire face was a tomato. The brightest of them all. And Bucky loved it with a smile instead of a smirk.

What she did next was unexpected; Bucky's eyes widen while a chocked moan was created, at the same time he moved back a bit. All because she gave his 'little guy' a long stripe of wetness from her pink, and delicious tongue. Soon after, she started stroking once more, but slowly while she wrapped her lips on the tip. A sweet moan made by Stephanie caused vibrations, and made it slightly hard for him to hold back the orgasm, but just for a bit.

He felt her tongue, licking around it while cleaning off the precum. Oh yeah, he was definitely in Heaven right now.

Currently, it was hell to hold his orgasm now. He didn't want to cum yet! He hasn't been inside her yet!  
"Steph, I-I'm gonna cum if y-you don't stop!" He shouted out, gripping on her hair further. Her reaction was now hard as Stephanie suddenly bobbed her head faster.  
Oh crap!  
Along with sounds of her throat, slightly choking while trails of her drools drips down. She looked obsessed for his cock, just as a porn star in a close up shot.  
"Oh...! S***! STEPH!" He shouted, before accidentally thrusting upward and came out streamers of white down her throat. Stephanie let a squeak of surprise, her mouth still on him, before relaxing and swallowed down the semen.

Once Bucky was done, he threw his head back in relief while Stephanie gave one last licks to his deflated stick. When she was done, she sat up while wiping her wet lips, a smile on her face. He chuckled at the sight.  
"Damn you, punk," he said, breathless. "I wanted to cum hard inside."  
The girl giggled before crawling up to him, "You couldn't hold it for long. You needed to cum. Plus... you tasted delicious."  
Bucky smiled more before grabbing her face, "Come here, you." Their lips were once against attached while Stephanie placed her hands on his shoulders. He moaned at the faint taste of Stephanie he got in his mouth blended with Stephanie's clear taste of himself.  
Never knew Heaven would be this good.


	18. Chapter 18

Love is a strange thing to know about. It's never easy, and it's never hard. Complications are always made, and can either be handled or not. But, everyone wants to have the experience; to feel special, to be needed, to be happy with someone more than friends or family –– to be in love. And Stephanie and Bucky never felt so alive to have the feeling now.

The gentle touches of their hands over each other's skins. The sweet kisses they returned to each other, or arched at sudden appearances of constant pleasure. The love glistening in each other's eyes as they stared at each other. And the smiles they shared at how wonderful it was at this moment.

Throughout their lives, fighting was part of their main core. But, it didn't matter anymore. This moment made them forget everything about society. All that mattered was them, and them alone. (Thank you, Natasha)

"OHH! B-BUCKY!" Stephanie moaned out, arching her back at the pleasure streaming the inside of her body all over. She knew Bucky was big... But never thought he was THAT big! After putting on the condom, and usage of some baby oil that he used sometimes for exercising, he slowly broke her barrier and became one with his blonde dame. The size and interruption took time for Stephanie to get used to, having Bucky sweet enough to pause at every moment until Stephanie was relaxed and allowed more in. How she was so lucky to have someone like him.

And how lucky she was to have someone this amazing, even with lack of experience. Stephanie squeezed her eyes shut, while gripping on the sheets and her toes curling in pleasure. The bed creaked at every thrust Bucky gave her, making her feel like she was on Cloud 9. So much better than actually being drunk, and having sex with an random person; doing with Bucky –– especially since she was now no longer a virgin –– was Heaven, and she would never forget it. But, by how Bucky was holding her and thrusting her Stephanie figured he was making it memorable for the both of them.

His hands, wiped away from the baby oil on the sheets, gripped on her hips that could possibly give her bruises, but she wouldn't care. She didn't care about anything other than her and Bucky.  
"So...tight," he groaned out, tilting his head back as he enjoyed the feeling. Bucky knew she was a virgin since she seemed like the type to be 'married to her job', but right now he was grateful that he didn't have to worry about her dedication. With all the love confessions, being her alter ego was out of her head.  
Both were practically imagining themselves back in Brooklyn, getting to do their first time –– without worrying on her medical issues.

Stephanie opened her eyes, unshed tears of pleasure shown as she looked up at her hot and sweaty lover. She let go of the sheets to wrap around his neck. He let her pull him down to kiss passionately and deeply, feeling their heat against each other as Bucky's thrusting slowed down a bit to concentrate on the kissing a bit. He soon let go of her hips and slowly wrapped around her torso, pushing himself down a bit until both of their bare chests were touching. Actually, their entire bodies were practically touching each other.

As they kissed, Stephanie slid her hands down to his shoulders while Bucky sudden sped up.  
"AH!" She exclaimed, breaking the kiss and threw her head back. Bucky blinked once before smirking. Found it~  
There he started thrusting at the exact spot, watching Stephanie twist and whimper at the feeling, "R-Right there, B-Bucky! Harder, please!"  
"As you wish," Bucky said, softly and seductively before he brought his hips to thrust hard at the prostate. With her head back also made him realize he got a new opportunity; he immediately attached his lips and teeth on her neck, smirking at both the taste and the scream Stephanie made as the pleasure inside her increase.  
"Yes! Oh, Bucky! I love it!" She moaned out, a bit of growling done before whimpering again, and squeezed both his shoulders.

Stephanie then started moving her hips, meeting the thrusts and caused Bucky to moan on her neck. The vibrations made her breathless, and hitch her throat for a few seconds before relaxing once more. She lifted her legs up to wrap around Bucky's waist for a better position. Stephanie never wanted this moment to end! The pleasure was unforgettable, along with Bucky's touches and thrusting. He then started pounding her while his member got suddenly bigger, making Stephanie's orgasm come faster. "OH! I-I-I-I'm gonna cum!" She moaned straight to Bucky's ear.

She whimpered softly when Bucky suddenly pulled back, as well sat up. His arms were now loose from holding her, and his hands held her thighs as he thrusted.  
"Cum with me, baby," he moaned softly, panting as he violently thrusted her. She started screaming in pleasure, with her tears streaming down her face. This was it. This was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to be the one Bucky takes.  
She wanted to be the one Bucky would make love with.  
The one who releases with him.  
The one who was his other half.  
And she finally got it.

She arched her back, almost painful at a glance, and hitched her throat again with her mouth wide open and her eyes squeezed shut. Bucky moaned while bringing his head back as he felt the release all over his protected member. With a loud inhale through the mouth, she moaned once again before panting was done. Bucky thrusted a few more times, less painful than before, until he finally came. Once he was done, he fell forward and landed on her body. She instantly wrapped her arms around him once contact was made, panting softly near his ear.

Bucky soon lifted his head up, having Stephanie's attention to turn her head, and soon a tired kiss was made with sweet smiles. His metal hand was lifted up to grasped her heated pink cheek, and wipe away a tear that shed before they kiss. She smiled more at the sweet action. Once both pulled back, the two rested in the position they were in while the air conditioner cooled them down.

After a while of silence with their breathing more calm now, Bucky soon got up while pulling his hips back to take out his member. He took the condom off, tied it, and threw it in the tissue-filled waste basket. Afterwards, he went on his back beside his lover, while his flesh hand grasped Stephanie's hand. She returned the hold with her eyes close and a smile on her face, right before she opened them and turned her head to him.  
"Best. Day. Of my life," she then said, her voice hoarse by the screaming. Bucky chuckled softly as he returned the smile.  
"I agree," he said. "Pretty glad you agreed to Natasha's plan."  
"Especially with the Avengers out of the building," she added, making them laugh. Best personal idea Natasha ever made.  
"Do you think this still would have happened, even without Natasha's help?" Bucky then asked.  
Stephanie shrugged. "It's possible, but would possibly take longer. And maybe that girl from the club would actually get the chance to have you."  
"I don't think so. Especially since you were there. I'm really sorry about that." Guilt rose in Bucky's eyes, but a kiss on his cheek made it fade away.

Her smile was glowing, "Don't be. Besides, there was a good side in all of this."  
"What's that?"  
"You were able to get your blonde. Along with a redhead's help."  
Bucky chuckled, "C'mere, punk."  
"Jerk," Stephanie giggled before moving closer to him and kissed him deeply. Their arms wrap around each other as they enjoyed each other's company.  
She was right though. While the stripper didn't get her man –– or next sex victim –– Stephanie got hers.

Morning came on the horizon, as the Avengers returned to the building. While some of them were being grateful at how wonderful the hotel was, Natasha didn't care. The entire time she was at the hotel, when she wasn't with Clint anyway, all she was thinking about was Stephanie. She hoped her plan worked.  
Her plans usually worked, but this one was a slight tough one, especially with those two.  
She swore that it didn't happen, she'll have to the work with more actions that she thought.

She climbed up the stairs, ignoring the laughter made from some stupid joke she bet. Natasha sometimes still wondered how she was still friends with them. Heading up to Stephanie's room, she took a deep breath and twisted the handle. With a push at the door, she looked around as well heard the surroundings.  
Nothing.  
She blinked once, before she closed it slightly. Suddenly, she turned and headed down the walkway with quick jogs. "Please, oh please. Oh dear love of God, please tell me I'm right."  
Once she got up to the door, she touched the handle and again took a deep breath. She twisted it, and opened the door.  
The first thing that hit her was the scent of sex. And she would know after last night...

After blinking a few times, Natasha soon looked over to the bed and smirked at the sight. The used-to-be confused and scared two were now wrapped in each other's arms, while a bed sheet covered their naked bodies. Soft smiles were planted on their faces as they were shown to the red head.  
Yes!  
With a internal victory, Natasha silently closed the door and headed down the stairs. As she walked with her smirk still planted on her face, she then noticed Falcon with an anxious look on his face. "Did it work?"  
"Wanna see for yourself?" She said with a familiar tone of success. Just by that, Sam smiled. "You are incredible."  
"And you were doubting me for a second."

Sam chuckled as the two headed to the kitchen where the rest of the Avengers, Clint and Tony, we're making breakfast. The billionaire looked up at the sight of the two, but raised an eyebrow when he didn't noticed the others.  
"Where's Cap and Metal Arm?"  
"...Bucked." Sam then failed at stifling his laughter at Natasha's answer, while Clint and Tony were just lost. Natasha just kissed her fiancé's cheek while taking a small sip of his coffee.  
"What happened when we were gone?" Clint asked softly next to her.  
"I'll tell you later, baby."


End file.
